I type this post with fingers salty from tears and behind eyes, bloodshot and tired, with a knot in my stomach and a sore heart. My beautiful best friend Agnes left this morning to spend a semester studying in Europe. She’s way cooler than I am.
Saying goodbye to her this morning was so hard. First of all, she’s my best friend, we spend tons of time together, so her departure rips a giant hole in my social network. Secondly, I’m selfish, I want her all to myself. The idea of her new friends makes me really sad, and jealous. I know they’re going to be so wonderful, but it’s hard not to feel territorial over my best friend for 9 years. That’s a long time! Thirdly, and lastly, I’m terrible at saying goodbye. I suppose this wasn’t so much a goodbye as a see you later. But this later is so much later than other laters I’ve wished in the past. This is the longest I’ll have ever been separated from someone I love, and I love Agnes a lot. Here’s why:
1. She has an incredible ability to have way deep, theological, thought-provoking, mind-boggling conversations with anyone…at any moment. It’s so cool.
2. She’s a babe.
3. She does this thing where she kind of half-giggles after things that she says. I’ve never told her how funny and great I think it is…well, I guess I have now. Agnes, I love when you half-giggle after things you say, that aren’t necessarily funny. It’s so cute.
4. She dresses really well. So euro-chic.
5. She loves Jesus so much, and desires that for everyone she knows. It’s really beautiful.
6. She has an outstanding ability to twist her beautiful face into terrible things. Remarkable, really.
7. She has exquisite taste in music.
8. She has really long arms. I like that.
I love a lot of other things about Agnes, but thinking about it more will make me sad. Well, more sad than I already am. I’m so thankful I was able to spend the morning with her, Abby, and her beautiful mom, Kelly. We danced around the dining room…correction, I danced around the dining room, ate donuts, aided the gardener who got stung by a yellow jacket, prayed, cried…really, it was a great morning. I just wish it could have happened more times before Agnes flew across the ocean.
Agnes, if you’re reading this, I hope you’re cozy and happy and drinking tea, since you’ll be in England and they do that a lot. I pray your flight was good and that you got a window seat next to someone that didn’t snore, that the air pressure didn’t make your ears hurt, that you like the music I gave you, that you drink enough water, that you got all your luggage, that your reunion with Will at the airport is worthy to be filmed, that his dad offers to take you to Kenya and asks you to invite a friend, that you choose me to go to Kenya with you, that you have fun, that you are SAFE (please be safe!), and that Jesus becomes more real and powerful to you than ever before. You’re crazy beautiful and I love you to the moon and back.
Here’s a song for all of you to listen to. It’s sad and beautiful, like this morning. I’m finding comfort in belonging to Jesus, no one or nothing else, forever. Talk about security. Mmmmmm