I’ve decided what my favorite emotion is, but I don’t know that I can come up with its name. Here’s my best effort: inspired with butterflies just before dusk when the light is so perfect and slanted that everything you see would make the most wonderful picture, especially that spider web between the branches of a short, broad, strong tree, when all you need is a fantastic . Anyone with me? So often, I yearn for this feeling, wishing I could just be giddily inspired by something, anything, but I’m usually disappointed, left with a heaviness in my soul and an empty memory card.
How ridiculous is that?! That the presence or absence of a temporary, fleeting emotion can make or break whatever may be happening in my life at any given time. As if the angle of sunset could really make that much of a difference in my life, my soul (though it does make an enormous difference in photographs). I suppose I’m mostly just frustrated that I’m still so wrapped up in things that will die, suns that will set, emotions that will change and so far from the One who is the most constant utopia for my florescent-hating spirit.
I came across this article, this crazy article, about life-longings, about where we, as humans, believe our true meaning and joy and fulfillment and euphoria can be found. You know what everyone wanted? To be loved, by others, themselves, society, you name it. They wanted everything to be “okay”, for everything to fall into place, just like that perfect light angle. That’s what we, the world, believe will bind us into communion with jubilation. And it doesn’t change, at least not noticeably, as we age. Sure, the specifics may go from “I want a boyfriend” to “I want a child” to “I want better relationships with my grandkids in Illinois” – but isn’t it all the same? We’re never satisfied.
I’m feeling like a broken record, having written on this before (see my post from last October) – My heart tells me to just get over it, deal with the fact that it’s never going to go away, but my soul is pleading “No! Don’t settle for this! You know where joy is! You know WHO joy is!” And my soul is right – I do know Who joy is, and I know where it comes from. Check out this cool list of joy by John Piper.
Feeling so convicted behind this techy safety net, friends, that my joy so often lies in the hands of my emotions, my relationships, my belongings and not my Savior. Join me in seeking what Piper calls “Paul-like joy” – joy that abounds regardless of circumstance.