impressionist morning

I’ve had the morning to reflect on a few things, which has been really, really nice. I enjoy mornings so much. Although, sometimes, mornings bring a lot of panic in my brain. Maybe it’s because my logic hasn’t woken up yet, and my half-dream, racing heart state of mind captures any hope of sanity I may contain.

But that’s all meaningless. Here’s what I’m finding peace in today: all He wants from us is to trust Him. Isn’t that beautiful? Maybe that’s one of those things I should have been able to grasp by now – but hey, that’s alright. This morning, I was feeling tormented by expectations of people from whom I desire so deeply to find favor. I found myself on my knees, begging my Father for an answer – a concrete answer. Why? Because I was truly wanting His help? No.  Because I was wanting control of what was going on around me. My faith was nothing but a nice thought, a pat on the back. But there, on the ground, with my face buried in the carpet my mom got from a garage sale (heaven carpet), two beautiful words entered my brain and heart: “TRUST ME”. That’s it. Not “Okay, here’s what you do” or “Since you asked for a sign, here it is..” None of that. Just “Trust me”.

How beautiful is our God, our Jesus, my Jesus?! I’ll tell you.  He’s so beautiful, so perfect, that all He desires from me, from us, Church, is my faith that He is who He says He is, that I am who He says I am, and that what He did and is doing is enough to reconcile that [Romans 5:8]; that my identity no longer is in the eyes of any man or woman, or in how well I meet or how far I fall from meeting their expectations, or in what I decide to wear, or whether or not tears fall from my eyes in any particular day. My identity is simply “HIS”. Talk about security.

I’m taking a Music class this semester, I like it a lot. My professor is so cute. She wears dresses and pants, at the same time. I also think she wears lip stain, which I find very classy and feminine. Moving along..
Yesterday, we discussed the artistic concept of impressionism – an early 20th century painting style. She said something really cool about it that I’d like to share. Here’s what she said:

There is really one goal, one idea impressionist artists are working with: light. They see light, they see the way it reflects off images, and that’s what they paint; light and its various reflections.

Christian, is that not our God? In a sense, aren’t we all just impressionist existors? (I think I just made up that word. Nice work) Isn’t the most beautiful thing when we see the way our Light reflects itself in the words and actions and thoughts and heart changes of our brothers and sisters? I think so.
Take a minute to read 2 Corinthians 4:6 today.

So there it is: my hope, my identity, my sanity, my joy: Jesus Christ.

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